So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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