What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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