Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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