We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
