he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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