He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Randomize
