we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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