He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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