If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
