Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
