it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
