4 words: hood of his car
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
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