Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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