No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
