i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
