Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
whose ass print is on the piano?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
