he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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