we have pet lesbian snakes
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
