dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
