These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
