just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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