Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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