I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
