i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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