Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
