i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Life is so much better after having sex.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
