walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
