I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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