I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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