THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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