I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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