if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
