Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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