She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
