Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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