I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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