Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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