This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
