I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
