Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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