do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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