one might say we're banned from that church
You smell like stripper and shame
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
