worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Houston, we have a squirter
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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