Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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