it was like eating out sand paper
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
