after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
