Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize