He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
