its not stalking. its research.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
