i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
